I miss my mother more & more each day.. I would be lying if I said it got an easier. Its an everyday challange that I’m constintly trying to win.

vent 2/18/12

Its like my heart is a battlefield the sun is always battling the rain. The pain will start to rise again. The rain will start to fall and then I began to crawl… curl up in a ball. Block it all. Knees weakening hands shivering.. lump in the throat trying to put it on hold. Wondering why the Sun hasn’t won yet.. aren’t I done yet? How much rain can a hopeless person take? My heart is like the ground after a earth quake.. I just want to throw it all away. Maybe even start over again one day, so things can change… so a smile can cross my face and me get over this depressed stage.. You took the flower that blossomed the most.. now my heart is filled and about to boast.. welcome back lump in the throat.. I keep coming to the end of this road